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Torso for sale. $50. Enquire within.

The words are burbling away in my mind and I just can’t seem to get them out onto paper in any coherent form. They want to stay tucked inside my head all nice and safe and warm. They want to swirl around in circles and tangents and not be constrained on a screen. They most certainly do not want to be subjected to my loose interpretation of grammar.

Bloody treacherous things, much like emotions I suppose. I think that I am travelling along nicely when all of a sudden something small is enough to push me over the edge.

The little things, the little annoyances, the small inconveniences that can suddenly bring you undone.

Mum’s prescription hadn’t been faxed through to the chemist. A small inconvenience really but it was enough to reduce me to tears.

A sign in a shop window. Torso for sale, $50. Enquire within. Was  enough to make me  happy.

Look! Look! Isn’t she lovely???


I have been toying with the idea of making bum plates for ages now but I couldn’t get anyone to model for me. The bloody sooks my lovely family wouldn’t even consider being my models so that I could make a plaster cast of their various body parts.

When Veronica was 17 she nearly agreed to let me take a plaster cast of her breasts. When I explained that I wanted her to cover her upper torso in vaseline and that she would then have to  lie very still on the kitchen table, for about 20-30 minutes whilst I poured plaster of paris onto her bare skin, she decided that she didn’t want to be my model after all *SIGH*

Now that Vonnie has breastfed two children I occassionally remind her that If she hadn’t been such a sook, she could have owned a set of perky ceramic breasts to remind her of how her boobs looked pre-children. There is a moral in there somewhere…

I am the proud owner of a lovely buxom torso,yay. The sky really is the limit now that I have a model that wont complain at all when I cover her body in plaster.

I have been wanting to take my torso for a walk in the bush as well and photograph her next to some large trees. I have a sculpture lurking in my head that is a tree/woman/suggestion of despair. But I need to remember my keywords for this year are Focus and Resolution. My torso is safely tucked away for later and everytime I walk past her I smile.

Comments on this entry are closed.

  • texasholly @ June Cleaver Nirvana April 21, 2009, 7:58 am

    See, this is exactly why I love you. First you are amused by the torso for sale…and then you buy it. Genius.


    texasholly @ June Cleaver Nirvanas last blog post..Monday Potluck – Late Edition

  • Hyphen Mama April 21, 2009, 9:11 am

    – your mention of V’s 17 year old bosom just made Lceel really REALLY happy

    -“I think that I am travelling along nicely when all of a sudden something small is enough to push me over the edge.” If I could string words together this eloquently, this is EXACTLY what I would say.

    -I think you need to drive your torso around in your car, with her strapped into the passenger seat and drive around talking to her….because THAT would be funny. I don’t suppose you have a head and a wig you could lend her? She’d be happier with a head. Wouldn’t we all?

    Hyphen Mamas last blog post..It could be worse. I could be breeding rodents in my laundry room.

  • Jayne April 21, 2009, 9:21 am

    Love the torso, looking forward to seeing more of her in the bush settings 😉

    Jaynes last blog post..On the dark trivial desert highway, cool wind in my history hair, warm smell of April colitas rising up through the 21st air

  • Ree April 21, 2009, 10:34 am

    Hmmmm. And here I am fixated on the whole naked torso and ‘bush’ thing. But that’s just me and my filthy mind.


    You can pour plaster of paris on me. You’ll have to come to the States though.

    Rees last blog post..MM – Outrage

  • Kelley @ Magnetoboldtoo April 21, 2009, 1:16 pm

    She has my arse.

    I lost it back in ’91.

    I want that bitch back.

    Kelley @ Magnetoboldtoos last blog post..Gloria is one smart cookie

  • Avril April 21, 2009, 2:45 pm

    Oh … to have a figure like that! Perfect proportions all round! Can just imagine you taking your new friend into the bush or riding around with her in the front seat of the car – don’t forget the seat belt!

    I did that once with one of Jeanette’s large teddy’s ‘Brutus’ – put nice clothes on him, buckled him in, and off we went – to the collection for the Aids babies/children.

    Avrils last blog post..Weekly Winners : 12 – 18 April

  • river April 21, 2009, 4:08 pm

    “something small is enough to push me over the edge”. That was me earlier today. I cried an ocean. but I’m okay now.
    I LOVE the torso, it has such possibilities. What a great moment finding that just when you needed cheering up.
    Hmmm, bum plates and boob bowls….rib cage serving platters.

  • Veronica April 21, 2009, 4:45 pm

    Yes okay, in retrospect I should have let you do a mold.

    Veronicas last blog post..How to…

  • Mrs. C April 21, 2009, 8:31 pm

    There’s something symbolic there about the oppressed condition of the female in phallocentric societies… No head, no hands and no feet. All the “able to do something about anything” parts are removed.

    Are you making a political statement??


    Mrs. Cs last blog post..Difficulty With Science.

  • Mistress B April 21, 2009, 8:48 pm

    oh the things you could do with that torso……….

    Actually I’ve seen some of the coolest sculptures done with torsos by the art students at my kids school. One of the wrapped the torso in plastic wrap and glued it somehow then cut it off to make a cling wrap torso and clad it in a recycled material bikini!

    Mistress Bs last blog post..Screw Up Tuesday – the bumper school holiday and house moving edition!

  • lceel April 21, 2009, 9:59 pm

    It is so nice and pleasant in my mind, right now …. later.

    lceels last blog post..WTF is Manga?

  • Xbox4NappyRash April 22, 2009, 4:16 am

    A 17 year old vaseline covered upper body spread out on a kitchen table….

    Xbox4NappyRashs last blog post..Ding ding

  • Barbara April 22, 2009, 4:32 am

    She is beautiful. If only I had her figure. Sigh. Please take her for a drive with a head and wig and then photograph the reactions of people you drive past.

    I hope you got the prescription sorted out – I know it’s not a big thing but it’s the sort of thing that you just don’t need right now.

    Barbaras last blog post..111/365 – The Cheek Of It

  • Tinkingbell April 22, 2009, 9:29 am

    How wonderful – I have always wanted one – or even better – a whole body!!

    A friend had some legs and a bottom – called Barbara – I always wanted her – she could have modelled my socks

    Love to your mum

    Tinkingbells last blog post..Golden Apples of the Sun

  • Taz April 22, 2009, 8:54 pm

    love it


  • tiff April 23, 2009, 8:26 am

    …and what a lovely, perky torso she is!
    Glad she has brought some happiness.
    Do you think, if I bought one, plastic surgeons might remove my saggy baggy elephant torso and sew that gorgeous, perfect, if slightly not skin toned torso on me?

    Me either.

    tiffs last blog post..The circus.

  • Bendy Girl April 23, 2009, 8:12 pm

    My brain is not working sufficiently to come up with any relevant comment. I just came by to say I’d seen your comment about V’s diagnosis and well, I’m here. I wish I’d been wrong, but on the other hand I’m so very glad you got a diagnosis this early on and won’t have to go through more years of not knowing. Will you, Spouse and David get checked out now too? I’ll have a think about some EDS resources for you, it’s overwhelming at first but that soon passes. For now can I suggest a new book written by Brad Tinkle, Issues and Management of Joint Hypermobility. http://www.amazon.co.uk/Issues-Management-Joint-Hypermobility-Tinkle/dp/0981836003/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1240481465&sr=8-1
    It’s mainly aimed at the hypermobile type but it’s the best resource so far on EDS. (I’m also primarily classical with features of hypermobile and one of the really weird rare types!)
    Good luck Mummy Kim, BG x x x

  • Tanya April 23, 2009, 10:50 pm


    Is this the one that was in town? If so, I saw it a few days ago…if not there is another just like it in a shop window in town also looking for a home.

    Tanyas last blog post..Kicking Peanut

  • Casdok April 24, 2009, 6:49 pm

    I think your torso would make some very fine photographs!

    Casdoks last blog post..No holes

  • Gwen Jackson April 25, 2009, 7:18 am

    Quite a lovely torso you got there 🙂

    Gwen Jacksons last blog post..The Bridge

  • Miss Ash May 16, 2009, 3:38 am

    You make me smile.

    Miss Ashs last blog post..dancing in the rain