I keep on forgetting what day it is.

I know that today is Tuesday. The funeral is today. It is also David’s birthday today. But since Mum died last week, my brain has seriously gone on holiday and I find myself regularly asking, “What day is it today?”

Organising a funeral is horrible. Mum and I had talked about her funeral, we had even gone to a funeral home together where I listened, as Mum talked about the music she wanted, the flowers that she liked and all the millions of small details.

We met with the celebrant(?) yesterday and I was under the impression that he would ask us questions about Mum and then he would write the Eulogy from the notes we had given him. Apparently not *sigh*

Luckily Mum’s favourite little Japanese tea rooms were close by. So my brother and his son Hayden along with Vonnie and myself brainstormed over lunch. My brother was left with the task of typing it up into a coherent Eulogy, which he would email to me, Vonnie and I would add any bits we thought of, email it back to Mick and he would email it to the celebrant.

AAAAAAARRRGHHHHHHH!!!!!!

This is really, really hard.

Today is also David’s 15th birthday. We are burying his Grandmother on his birthday. Oh shit. What the fuck was I thinking? Dont answer that ok.

I have tried really hard to make this last week as normal for Dave as possible but of course there is nothing really that I can do to distract him from his heart-ache, except hold him and try not to yell at him when he slams my doors.

I will just have to trust that everything will be all right for my son eventually.

Think of us today at three o’clock.