≡ Menu

A candle for Mum.

Yesterday we attended a memorial service conducted by the palliative care people.

While we were waiting for the service to start I looked around me at a sea of faces. People of all ages who were there because someone they loved had recently died. You could feel the sadness in the room and we were all silently sitting waiting for the service to start.

The service opened with a short prayer and someone read a poem. A little girl across the room from me started to cry and her tears set me off.

My husband sat beside me openly crying. My son sat on my other side, holding my hand and keeping himself rigidly under control. My daughter looked ready to shatter into a million pieces and my grandmother quietly wept.

As I sat there with tears streaming down my face a woman smiled at me through her own tears and I wondered who she had lost? I wondered if it will always be this hard? Will this ache, this longing for my Mother always be so strong?

Two hundred and twenty names were read out but I was only listening for one.

candles.

Comments on this entry are closed.

  • Marylin November 30, 2009, 9:59 am

    OH sweetheart. *hugs* and lots of love to you all. xxx

  • Trish November 30, 2009, 10:43 am

    Hugs , lighting a candle and hearing that one special name can be so bittersweet but beautiful.

    Our hospital runs memorial services too.

    Yes the longing never stops but the pain isn’t so strong.

  • Kellie November 30, 2009, 10:44 am

    It’s so hard. Last November we lost our Grandma and the other day I picked up the phone to call her. I will always miss her. Thinking of you. xx

  • Pixie November 30, 2009, 10:47 am

    gentle hugs….its hard……….I know…

  • Gemisht November 30, 2009, 10:53 am

    Hugs for all of you. I sincerely hope that the ache for your mother won’t be as strong as it is now. I still desperately miss my grandmother after 21 years but the ache has gone, mostly. At least now its easier to think of her and smile, and share a laugh with Mum when we remember the fun times.

  • Renee @ Just_A_Mumma November 30, 2009, 11:41 am

    Just ((HUGS))..

  • Brenda November 30, 2009, 1:00 pm

    Oh Kim, no words just (((hugs))).

  • Mrs. Oh November 30, 2009, 2:32 pm

    Mom’s birthday was on Christmas – putting up the decorations is always so hard on me now. This is our 5th without her. Your post stucked the air out of my lungs – hugs Kim and to all the others that have also lost their Moms.

  • pg November 30, 2009, 3:31 pm

    Ah, Froggie.

    I know.

    I’ll sit here with you and hold yer hand, ok?

    I was watching that damned 20 to 1 last night for some gratuitous brain fairy floss, when “Unforgettable” came on.

    It’s been 3 years, and there I was sobbing like a baby for my Daddy-O.

    Big fat Auntie Purple Boosie Snuggles for you.

  • river November 30, 2009, 4:09 pm

    This is beautiful Kim.
    I’ve never been to a memorial service.
    I did attend my sister-in-laws funeral years ago….

  • Jientje November 30, 2009, 7:59 pm

    I don’t know if it will always be so hard. I’m told the rough edges will dissapear, but still. Your Mom will always be missed, that’s for sure.

  • Achelois November 30, 2009, 8:55 pm

    Can’t type properly – too choked with tears in eyes for you all. Hugs…

  • Mrs. C November 30, 2009, 10:07 pm

    I think it’s lovely that they did that for you and gave everyone a time to remember. I hope it was comforting to look around and see others who were also going through the same sort of thing.

  • Barbara December 1, 2009, 12:00 am

    I’m so sorry, I wish I could have come with you to help hold you all up.

  • Bendy Girl December 1, 2009, 2:35 am

    Love to you all. BG Xx

  • Martin December 1, 2009, 6:12 am

    220. Just too many. Too many ‘ones’.

  • Tanya December 1, 2009, 10:15 am

    xxx

  • Kristin December 2, 2009, 11:57 am

    I stumbled across your site on blogcatalog. Beautiful writing, poetic and evocative. I lost my mom to cancer 16 years ago and it still hurts. I’m sorry for your loss. – Kristin

  • Sharon December 2, 2009, 3:13 pm

    Hugs, lots of them.

  • Jayne December 3, 2009, 11:25 am

    (((hugs))) Time will heal but you’ll never forget and never be the same again.

  • Tinkingbell December 3, 2009, 2:39 pm

    Lots of hugs – it was the anniversary of Mum’s death last weekend, and she has been on my mind and in my heart, as I’m sure, your mother has been for you

  • Kelley @ Magnetoboldtoo December 3, 2009, 6:20 pm

    Oh Kim. Still sending those hugs your way.

  • Ali December 3, 2009, 11:02 pm

    I’m sorry it took me so long to read this. Hugs for you. x

  • Hyphen Mama December 4, 2009, 8:00 am

    I know you must be exhausted from all these cyber hugs, but I’m sending you another one.

    {{{{{HUG}}}}}

  • jebaru December 6, 2009, 8:18 pm

    I’m so sorry, Kim. It’s very hard xxx

  • Y December 6, 2009, 10:37 pm

    Very sorry to hear about your loss.

  • Mistress B December 6, 2009, 11:40 pm

    huge hugs