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How do you measure success?

Last week Brenda asked on her blog, Mummytime, “where do you hope your blog will take you?”

This morning I followed  a twitter link to a blog post that asked why do most artists blogs fail?

I commented with Interesting point but it all depends on how you measure success. I am an artist and I have a successful blog as well.

So this morning the ideas have meshed and I need to ask the question,

“How do you measure success?”

This time last year I measured my success by my ability to keep those I loved, alive and safe from harm.

I failed to keep my mother alive. The cancer that consumed her was  too strong and the strength of my love was not enough to save her.

My love was strong enough to let her go peacefully though and Veronica writes about it beautifully here.

I failed to protect my daughter from my brother and in his pain he lashed out bitterly at my girl and wounded her deeply.

I am an only child.

I am an orphan.

I am motherless.

I am successful.

We have survived the first year and my son is alive.

I kept my son alive in those dark months following the death of his Grandmother. It was touch and go there for a while and I watched him like a hawk.

I didn’t restrain him when he punched the walls.

I screamed back at him when he screamed his anguish at me. I held him as he cried like a baby and my tears mingled with his, I fed him pizza and let him sleep and protected him as best I could.

How do you tell a 15 year old that grief will pass when you are so immersed in the same grief and the tunnel is too long for even the tiniest glimmer of light?

I managed to get through this last year because of my blog. I could write out my grief here. When there was a deathly silence after the funeral and only my closest friend rang me, I came to my blog for solace. When my head was going to explode with all the words I needed to say I came to my blog.

And you listened. You sent me chocolate and clippies, classical music and cards. You commissioned my art work and made me think of renewal. You posted photos on your blogs for me and You held me close and let me cry. You filled my inbox with  emails and when there werent any words You hugged me and now we are here together.

My blog is successful and that is down to You.

Comments on this entry are closed.

  • tiff June 15, 2010, 10:28 am

    You are amazing and wonderful. What an honest post.

    Success is what you make of it and you, my dear friend, are very successful.

  • Kristin (Wanderlust) June 15, 2010, 12:23 pm

    I love this. You are the definition of success. You live honestly and without censor. You are strong and loving and generous of spirit. You are willing to show your vulnerability and accept the love of others and therein lies your strength. xx

  • frogpondsrock June 15, 2010, 12:26 pm

    Thank you, But I am still only ever offering up a glimpse.

  • plumtree June 15, 2010, 1:38 pm

    Very successful. It’s not about garnering a certain number of comments. It’s sharing the integrity of your journey.

  • sharon June 15, 2010, 1:40 pm

    A beautiful post. I think of success as progress. Not necessarily onwards and upwards (or even always forwards) but moving and learning, taking in and adapting to our experiences be they good, bad or indifferent. And you, my lovely, are a success 🙂

  • Brenda June 15, 2010, 3:11 pm

    You just made me cry.

    I am blessed because you’re my friend. Love you, Kim.xoxo

  • Mrs. Oh June 15, 2010, 4:02 pm

    Dang there you go again and I am crying 😛 In 23 days, and yes I still count, will be the 5th anniversary of my Mom’s passing. 5. Years. 6 Christmases, Thanksgivings and the lot etc. I think I just need to write a post about it….Love you girlie!

  • river June 15, 2010, 6:29 pm

    Lovely words Kim, very well expressed. 11 days ago was the 6th anniversary of my mum’s death. My youngest grand daughter was born on the same day.

    I measure success differently. I’ll try to find the words to explain how and post them tomorrow. Hee hee, you’ve given me something to write about.

  • Marylin June 15, 2010, 9:31 pm

    This is SO true… if it weren’t for the people I’ve met through blogging I don’t think I could have got through the split between me n the boys’ dad last summer. You all gave me somewhere to let it out, and be myself.
    Thank YOU for being one of those people! x

  • Barbara June 16, 2010, 6:39 am

    I wish I had the right words to respond to this. As it is, it’s hard to see the screen for the tears. Thank goodness I can touch type.

  • Lindie June 19, 2010, 1:15 am

    My success is measured by my daughters. They are happy and in good relationships and have wonderful children that are making good decisions. My daughters have partners that love and support them and who I love for that along with many other reasons. My success is my knowledge that I took care of my mother when my siblings did not. Gave her a home and gave my daughters an example to follow.

  • Mick Rossendell June 22, 2010, 10:46 am

    Kimme, I am truley sorry for the pain and angst that I have delivered to our family.

    I am sorry, I do love you, I do love your family

  • frogpondsrock June 22, 2010, 2:15 pm

    Ahhh Michael, Thankyou. xox I love you too!