Silence is Complicity

by frogpondsrock on December 2, 2012

in arseholiness,blogging,friendship

A few days a go I was sent a link to a  forum thread on GOMI.

As I read the thread I was appalled to read anonymous women tearing other women to shreds.

I clicked away from the nastiness and wandered up to the studio to unpack the kiln.

I checked back on the thread that night and more anonymous women had joined the fray and were delighting in the group hatefest.

They casually attacked bloggers I consider to be my friends and other bloggers that I dont know at all.

Again I clicked away, I was tired, I couldn’t be bothered with their ridiculous pettiness and a vision of vultures squawking over a carcass made me smile.

Yesterday morning I checked the thread again and lost my temper. The anger flared up and I thought Fuck you, what a pack of bitches, how dare you sit here safe in your supposed anonymity and tear my friends to shreds.

So I registered as myself and left this comment.

I was sent a link to this thread and Wow what a horrible thread this is. Don’t you girls have anything better to do?  
 
Why do you give a flying fuck about these bloggers? Why do you care so much about what they are doing that you have to publicly bitch about their private lives in such a public thread.
 
Why don’t you just unfollow them on twitter and facebook and stop reading their blogs if they shit you so much? 
 
Why on earth would you put in a bloggers real name so that this thread is searchable on google. What a low fucking act that is. Did you even stop to consider for one minute how this thread makes those bloggers feel?
 
Jesus fucking Christ I need a fucking shower after reading all this shit posted in here. What a bunch of small minded, mean spirited arseholes you all are.
 
Oh and I logged in under my blog name because unlike you fuckers, If I have a problem with someone I tell them to their faces, rather than bitch about them anonymously.
 
You should all be ashamed of yourselves.
 
Kim@frogpondsrock

Now of course they are in the forum trying to pierce my rhino hide with their pathetic kitten claws. As if I care what a bunch of anonymous fuckwits have to say.

Those of you who know me, know well my attitude to anonymous commenters and those of you who don’t would be well served to read my comment policy.

Martin Luther King,said it best when he said,

“He who passively accepts evil is as much involved in it as he who helps to perpetrate it. He who accepts evil without protesting against it is really cooperating with it.”

That is why I went into the thread and used my real name because my silence would have signalled my complicity and be fucked if I am going to be complicit to that load of tripe in that particular forum.

{ 42 comments }

Alison December 2, 2012 at 9:33 am

I also loathe anonymous commenters. They are cowards. Mamamia refused to post two of my comments because I made that observation – meanwhile allowing anons to tear into people with the balls to at least stick to one screen name.

Good for you :)

frogpondsrock December 2, 2012 at 9:58 am

Mama mia is another of the sites that give me the shits but I say that publicly using my name, not snivellingly in an anonymous forum.

river December 2, 2012 at 11:09 am

Many months ago I had a look at Mama Mia just to see why “everybody” liked it so much. It didn’t appeal to me at all and I haven’t been back there. It isn’t a blog so much, more of a newspaper, a tabloid.

Alison December 2, 2012 at 10:28 am

Yep. Or at least I used to always use the same screen name. Never go there any more, it just go too much. The odd decent article wasn’t enough to make up for the other drivel.

Alison December 2, 2012 at 10:29 am

Got too much, not go. Stupid sticky keyboard.

frogpondsrock December 2, 2012 at 10:33 am

:)

Debyl1 December 2, 2012 at 10:59 am

I love that you used the Martin Luther King quote as your inspiration. It gave me goosebumps.
That beautiful quote should be plastered all over social media. Sad that we need reminders.
I love that you stood up to those attacking your friends and also those you do not even know.
We need more like you who stand up for what they know is the right thing and not be afraid to say so.
What a wonderful example you are,not only for your family but also for all of us.
Thankyou.xx

frogpondsrock December 2, 2012 at 5:43 pm

Thank you :)

Tegan December 2, 2012 at 11:02 am

I was appalled at reading that thread. I can’t believe that there is an entire site dedicated to people whinging about what others have written on their blogs. People with little to do obviously. I found it quite ironic though that they were complaining about one blogger and how ‘they made her twitter’ and she that she must be too self centered if she was on there reading about herself. Ummm they were reading someones twitter who they despised. Pretty much the same thing isn’t it?
I also really don’t understand the concept of ‘hate read’. Why continue to read something if it pisses you off so much? The internet is a big place, go read something that you like and are interested in.
p.s don’t even get me started on Mamamia lol

Alison December 2, 2012 at 12:44 pm

Agreed, 100%.

frogpondsrock December 2, 2012 at 5:45 pm

Yes. Exactly Tegan, I can’t see the point of reading something if it is just going to piss me off. I mean Why? Why bother? I have trouble understanding the Why of these sites.

river December 2, 2012 at 11:12 am

This seems to be a lot like those cliques in High School, where the groups who think they are superior feel the need to tear down everyone who doesn’t fit their mould. (mold?)

frogpondsrock December 2, 2012 at 5:46 pm

Yes. I knew a few girls like that in high school as well.

river December 2, 2012 at 12:11 pm

Just adding on here…I read right through that GOMI thing and found out it is a “Snark” site where people are supposed to snark about others. Like a bit of vicious “did you hear…” type gossip over coffee.

Not my type of thing at all, and I won’t be going there again, or to any other thread type forums.

Alison December 2, 2012 at 12:33 pm

Yes I saw that. And they were actually trying to defend it by saying that. Not really getting the concept that the whole idea is fundamentally vile and flawed. Just imagine if school bullies started up their own club and said “But we’re in the School Bullies Club. It’s one of our founding precepts!” as a defence – oh, well that’s ok then, silly me! I certainly won’t be venturing back either, completely bummed me out.

frogpondsrock December 2, 2012 at 5:48 pm

No I won’t bother going back in either, I mean what is the point? I read, I spewed, I left.

Jebaru December 21, 2012 at 8:19 pm

SNORT!! Sorry, I know the subject matter is vile, but “I read, I spewed, I left” has just delighted me enormously :D

Jo (jolich1967) December 2, 2012 at 12:17 pm

A most forceful and eloquent rebuke! Beautifully done.

frogpondsrock December 2, 2012 at 5:49 pm

hehe a most eloquent use of multiple epithets? Why thank you for the compliment.

Dorothy @ Singular Insanity December 2, 2012 at 1:27 pm

I followed the thread and was appalled not only by what was being said, but also by the site’s mere existence. This concept of “hate reading” had me completely baffled. Do people really thrive on negativity and hate? What kind of lives must they lead?

I was similarly appalled when a site dedicated to Child-Free living linked to one of my posts. The whole site is based on hating at “breeders” and the discrimination against those who choose to not have children. They would go around finding people writing about how difficult parenting is and then have a go at them for having children in the first place.

I truly don’t get it.

Good on you, Kim, for saying your piece. Such an odd world we live in.

frogpondsrock December 2, 2012 at 5:50 pm

Oh Dorothy, that must have felt dreadful to find that child-free site had linked to you. People truly are fucking bizarre.

Ness December 2, 2012 at 1:29 pm

I read it too, after seeing Tegan’s link on Twitter. I too was appalled. I’m a nobody in the blogosphere, but that makes me feel happy to stay that way if that’s the level of hatred out there. Sigh.

frogpondsrock December 2, 2012 at 5:52 pm

I think that you will find that the blogosphere can be a pretty nice place and that the people who thrive on the GOMI type vitriol are in the minority

Happy Elf Mom December 2, 2012 at 2:52 pm

Here we have a website called “Free Jinger” and they snark about fundamentalists in exactly the same way they were making fun of this retromummy person. They’ll put real names and addresses on there and share embarrassing tidbits about people’s lives. It’s true they usually use the internet and other publicly available sources, but it’s just so mean and doggone PERSONAL that it’s not just along the lines of “I don’t like that Kim Foale and her ceramics.”

It really is in very poor taste no matter who you’re mocking.

frogpondsrock December 2, 2012 at 5:42 pm

Yes it is in poor taste. Also I apologise to you for swearing in a blasphemey way. I thought about how that would make you feel after I had calmed down a bit and so I am sorry if I upset you. xx

Happy Elf Mom December 3, 2012 at 2:02 am

Oh, Kim, I love you. Do you think I’ve never lost it on people? Or sworn? I sure have. Actually a few weeks ago when someone called my child a retard. I told him that not only was my son smarter than he will EVER be, but he could kick his ass any day of the week in chess. I was ashamed of my reaction. But I think also sometimes when we really love and care somebody, we are human and lose it. Remember Jesus with the whip clearing the moneychanging tables? Could you imagine some dude today toppling the sales stands outside some of these dopey “Christian” conventions? He didn’t swear, but still. “Over the top” behaviour, He had it. And I love that you care so much for your friend that you would stick your neck out. I need friends like that in my life and am glad to count you as one. :)

Elephant's Child December 2, 2012 at 4:50 pm

Kim. I love you. Thank you for saying what needs to be said.

frogpondsrock December 2, 2012 at 5:53 pm

I was a bit cranky EC. heh.

Nora December 3, 2012 at 2:27 am

Out of curiousity, why do you think they’re all women? I have read it before and I thought it was a mix of genders.

frogpondsrock December 3, 2012 at 7:33 am

I was only referring to that particular thread dealing with the Australian Bloggers, not all of GOMI. I think that they are women because they seem to be obsessed with how one of the bloggers looks and the clothes that she wears and I don’t imagine many men would even notice the clothes a woman was wearing, never mind what label they were. Or at least the men I know wouldn’t notice :)

Roxanne P-CH December 3, 2012 at 8:15 am

Good for you! Online or off people like that disgust me.

frogpondsrock December 3, 2012 at 12:38 pm

I don’t have the energy to be disgusted, I am just surprised at the amount of energy they devote to nitpicking over other peoples choices. What is the point?

jeanie December 3, 2012 at 1:45 pm

My goodness – that looks like a swill hole for trolls to congregate and sharpen their pitchforks, doesn’t it?

Well done you – and off to gargle some meditation for the mind, because it feels like I have just dipped it in mud.

frogpondsrock December 3, 2012 at 2:47 pm

Heh Jeanie, Best Description Ever. Thanks for making me laugh. :)

Alison December 3, 2012 at 3:49 pm

Shame comments don’t have a vote up button :)

roseg December 3, 2012 at 2:13 pm

yup. anonymous fuckwits alright. they seem worse in summer doncha think?

frogpondsrock December 3, 2012 at 2:46 pm

like rabid blowflies?

Victoria December 3, 2012 at 4:27 pm

Good on you.Absolutely fantastic…Victoria

Sharon @ Funken Wagnel December 7, 2012 at 2:11 pm

First off, I love that you’re passionate enough to speak up about this as always. I didn’t know about that site before this post. I had a read of your link. I think the posters were rude to YOU, because after getting a feel for that site, I suspect they’d probably love your blog if they had a good read around, and love all that you stand for. That you’re not this perfectionist blogger, and you’re so truthful and passionate.

Secondly, I actually found the thread pretty exciting. Only because in blog-world it feels as though we only ever see and hear arse-kissing and I get royally sick of it! It fascinated me to find out what others really think.

I do think some of it was harsh, and can definitely understand why those targetted in it would be upset, but I also think that thread could be a great source of feedback if the bloggers were interested to hear it. I feel that the internet is becoming far too sanitised, so found this refreshing to hear actual reader opinions.

What I DIDN’T like, was some of the speculation and rumour-mongering that went on in that thread. Specifically, the stuff that is most likely not based upon truth.

frogpondsrock December 8, 2012 at 10:40 am

It was the rumour mongering that got up my nose Sharon, I don’t know if I have met retro mummy and I don’t read her blog. I have met Dani Mezza and she was pleasant enough to me but they certainly aren’t in my circle and I don’t read their blogs or follow them on twitter. I did laugh when one of the snarkers suggested that I was RM’s flying monkey heh, the link came from a totally different circle of women than those mentioned in the thread.
It was the casual cruelty toward those two, the discussion of where they lived and the use of RM’s name so that she was certain to see the thread, that made me lose my temper and go BLAH in the forum.
I doubted the anons would see my point and I didn’t really care, I had something to say and so as usual I said it publicly.
Previously I had just read the thread and taken it as snarky but nothing to concern me, as like you I thought a lot of the anons points were valid.
A lot of bloggers do close down discussion and the braying of their sycophants makes having a discussion with a different point of view nearly impossible.
But I will just keep on doing what I am doing Sharon and thanks for commenting.

Sharon @ Funken Wagnel December 8, 2012 at 1:03 pm

I totally agree with you on all those points, Kim.

Harry D Fish December 17, 2012 at 12:08 pm

Only just read that thread. Oh dear. It’s like high school. was reminded of a quote from Quentin Crisp “Do your worst, it can hardly be my worst, that has already happened to me” – wow. I knew the internet was a hive of nastiness but never knew about GOMI. One more to consign to the garbage bin of modernity.

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