As humans we like to judge. We apply our own experiences and moral compass to situations and make snap judgements.
Sometimes I read a post written by my daughter and it breaks my heart because the pain in her words is the only clue that I have to the pain in her heart.
Amy is an exceedingly difficult and tempestuous child to parent. She stretches and challenges every single one of Veronica’s parenting skills every single moment of every day.
It is very nearly impossible to get Amy to do something that she doesn’t want to. It isn’t because she is naughty or because she has pulled the wool over her mothers eyes.It certainly isn’t because Veronica is lacking some vital parenting skill. It is because Amy is so focused on doing what she wants to do in that moment, that nothing else registers. Some of the parenting advice that Veronica receives makes me shake my head and roll my eyes with frustration.
I have impeccable parenting skills. My ability to get small and not so small children to behave is legendary. I am also very good with dogs and horses. But with my grand daughter Amy I am at a loss. So I don’t bother with traditional discipline at all. We skirt issues and avoid situations and I use distraction as my main tool.
We do the same things every single time Amy comes to visit. We check for eggs, then together we cook Amy an egg. We paint a picture or two, play with some clay, watch a bit of telly together or read some books and then we go outside and throw the ball for the dog.
When Amy was still eating gluten we would do all these things at a frenetic pace and at the end of her visit the house would be trashed and I would be exhausted. Minus the gluten we are still very busy together and Amy isn’t quite so exhausting.
Veronica and I have been talking about Aspergers and Amy, we have been talking about how there is a very real possibility that Amy has Aspergers. Now that the A word is out in the open I can look at Amy’s behaviour with fresh eyes. Veronica and I are noticing more and more things that Amy does and more importantly we are noticing things that Amy doesn’t do.
So the next time you see a small child running amok in the supermarket or having a tantrum in the middle of a shopping centre don’t be so quick to judge, to shake your head, to glare at the obviously incompetent parent. And as for the whispered advice that all the child needs is a bit of discipline, a good smack will fix her.You can keep that under your hat as well.
As I sit here in front of my computer, nice and warm The Hadrians walkers are pitching tents at the end of the third day of their walk. News of the walkers and how they are going is scanty and I am hoping that Martins feet are still firmly attached to his legs and that his sense of direction has improved.
If you want a nice start to the day, this video clip will do it for you. Regular readers of this blog will know thatIvy is the youngest daughter of a friend of mineand now new readers know as well. yay.
Ivy spends an incredible amount of time in hospital and because she is only little this means that her mother, Tiff also spends a lot of time staying in the hospital as well. Tiff wanted to raise some money to make things a bit more comfortable on the ward where they stay.
Together we have raised over $5000 that is a massive effort. So give yourselves a clap on the back.
The response was amazing, many of them dressing as fairies and princesses (Ivy’s favourite things) on what turned out to be the coldest day of the year so far.
It was a wonderful day and rather than trying to explain to you how one school came together to raise well over $2000 for Team Ivy and what that means to me, I’m just going to show you
Well not me personally, it is payday today and I still have $20 in my wallet which is pretty cool and also very unusual for a payday morning. Also today is my son David’s 16th birthday which makes this fundraiser all the more poignant as I am able to watch my son grow up, unlike the Salmon’s. *sigh*
I want you to dig deep and donate to theHadrian’s walkerswho, next week are, walking across England to raise money for the Joseph Salmon trust.
In July of 2010 they will be walking the length of Hadrian’s Wall in six days. That’s 84 miles across the entire width of England.
Joseph Salmon was a little boy who died of pneumonia when he was three. A year after his death his parents set up the Joseph Salmon trust to give financial support to parents in the Huddersfield and Mirfield areas, whose child has died.
Now what has this got to do with you? What has this got to do with me a zillion miles away from England?
Martin is probably going to die from blisters or his feet will fall off or he will whinge and moan so much that his fellow walkers will chuck him off a cliff.
Or in Martin’s own words
I’m five and a half feet tall, if I walk 84 miles there is a good chance I will lose 15% of my pathetic height, my stubby legs will be worn and eroded to just above the ankles. My last miles will be mapped out with a bloody wet trail of oozing slime. Like a snail. Or a 55 year old midget prostitute.
And I will pay good money to see that happen. *muawahaha*
If you cant donate don’t feel guilty! You can still help, you could put a quick post up on your own blog, or on your facebook page. You can buy a t-shirt or a buff bandana
Or you can comment and for every comment on this post until the end of the walk I will donate one dollar to the trust myself. But please only one comment per person and all comments must have a valid email address.
I adore the moon, absolutely love it. The sight of a full moon makes me shiver with happiness. I had taken a couple of photos of the moon last night in preparation for the lunar eclipse and they were horrible, boring, lifeless photos of a white globe in the sky.
Luckily for me and for you as well, I have a very clever and supremely patient daughter who talked me through the aperture and shutter speed settings on the camera. I was pressing buttons and twirling knobs and nothing was changing when voila I magically found the right combination of sideclick,press and twirl and the aperture and shutter speed revealed themselves to me.
