Monty is an eighteen month old Labrador Kelpie cross. He is a big strong handsome dog who likes people very much.
He is also a complete goofball, a total enthusiastic idiot of a dog, who, at the sight of a new person FORGETS ALL HIS MANNERS and immediately leaps at visitors with joyous abandon, as he tries to mouth their wrists and lick their faces simultaneously. Monty enters a complete state of blissful doggie ecstasy when we get visitors, nothing makes him happier than slobbering over and leaping on new people.
Our visitors do not feel the same level of bliss at all, the ecstasy just slides right by them, and we chaotically endure five minutes of inneffectual flapping from me and joyous leaping from Monty, UNTIL his brain begins to work again.
It is a bit like this photo. But less of the running and more of the LEAPING AND DROOLING.
Monty is the first dog I have raised without any children in the house, hence the leaping. On his daily walk with me, he walks to heel on his lead, sits quietly on the side of our dirt road when he hears a car approaching and he is very obedient, almost a joy to be with.
UNTIL a neighbour stops in her car to have a chat, then Monty’s brain instantly turns to fizz and his inner goofball emerges. He nearly pulls my arm out of its socket in his enthusiastic quest to get inside that car and LICK the neighbour’s face/arms/head/any body part will do.
It is exhausting, trying to restrain him because he is so strong, nearly 60 kilos and I can not train it out of him because he does not leap at me. He wouldn’t dare, though he does give me a sneaky joyful lick on the face when I am distracted.
Monty needs to be socialised, but honestly internet I just do not have the time, spare money or the inclination to take him to dog classes.
Plus he power spews in the car. Even if he has not had any food at all he somehow dredges up a reservoir of undigested food to vomit everywhere, which he then quickly eats before I can stop the car, which in turn makes me retch. Labradors must have four stomachs like a cow. Driving with Monty is a vomitous trip of doom and I will avoid it if I can.
I have had dogs all my life. Harry my 12 year old heeler/collie is a lovely dog, an obedient dog, a non leaping dog who does not vomit in the car at all.
Harry is so good that he made me smug. Smug and lazy. I was as smug as only the owner of an old dog can be, Harry and I practically communicated telepathically.
Smug telepathic communication of course.
Then along came cyclone Monty.
Monty has knocked the smugness right out of me, and the laziness has gone as well.
Harry has adopted an air of eternal suffering, as he tries to teach this young pup the rules. And I swear he rolls his eyes at me.
Our days are full of hilarity and chaos.
Lots of chaos.
And no Smug at all.