I can see glimpses of my Mother’s house through the trees, from up here. We shared a property in the country. Mum lived a bit further down the valley on 14 acres and I am up here on the hill on my 4 acre lot.
Vonnie would often ring me wondering if it was too late to ring Mum and all I had to do was look out my window to see if Mum was still awake or not.
I didn’t realise how often I looked out of my window to check if Mum’s lights were on, until this last week when Mum was in hospital and all her windows were dark. I would look at her dark house momentarily puzzled as to why she would be in bed so early and then I would remember where Mum was.
Driving home from the hospital last night I looked at the clock and it was only 5.00 pm. I was shocked at how early it was. Time had been stretching out so slowly that it felt like hours and hours since Mum had died.
I am sitting here quietly crying, listening to the rain. It is a gentle rain and mine are gentle tears. My brain is working slowly and I keep on forgetting what I am supposed to be doing.
Veronica and I are meeting with the funeral directors today and we will finish this journey together, my Daughter and I. We were a threesome, Mum, Vonnie and I. We went to every appointment together. We shared the glorious highs when the tumour had shrunk and we started to believe that we might possibly be in the 5 percent who beat lung cancer. We also shared the devastating lows when the cancer reacted unpredictably and showed us just how aggressive it could be.
At our lowest moment when the cancer had really started to let us know just who was boss here, We began to suspect that there were zombies lurking in the hospital. Mum really got into the spirit of the photographic zombie hunt and we giggled away like schoolgirls.
Mum and I had discussed her funeral and she wants it to be a celebration of her life. So any family and friends out there who have a story about Mum that they would like to share at her funeral, please, please email it to me and I will have the celebrant read it out at the service. Don’t be shy ok. Mum’s friend Lauren has already sent me a great story and I will publish it here later on. Also does anyone want Mum’s cat?
A huge thankyou to all you lovely internets out there who have commented and been with me for this past year. Sometimes reading your comments has been the only thing stopping me from collapsing in a screaming heap. So in a well established bloggy tradition here is an award for you.
The zombie chicken award tadaaa!!!
You can thank Hyphen-Mama for this little gem, cheers Kim
Comments on this entry are closed.
Oh kim.
There are no words. Am thinking of you and Veronica.
tiffs last blog post..PICC less, paedless.
Arrived here recently after James raved about you (I’m his partner). So very sorry to hear about your Mum. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.
I came here via sleepless nights. I am so so sorry for your sad loss and my thoughts are with you and your family.
Acheloiss last blog post..Life
I pray that you keep your heart open to the love that surrounds you from family, and from friends you haven’t met in person. I had a wicked shutdown for a few years after my mom died. You are in my heart.
witchypoos last blog post..The Toy Computer Hits The Road
Hope the cat finds a home and your inbox is full of love.
Mrs. Cs last blog post..All. Day. Long.
*LOVE*
lceels last blog post..Wordless Wednesday – marbles
Thinking of you and praying for you that you get through today. Your mum must have been so proud of you cause you seem like such a wonderful person to me. Am so pleased you had this blog and all the caring people here over this past year.
Kathleens last blog post..Shame, Shame, Shame
be kind to you. OK?
Baby steps and take your time.
<3
Kelley @ Magnetoboldtoos last blog post..Fuck you postman. Or post woman. I mean really, how can you tell these days? No matter what you are offending someone.
I’m sorry for your loss. My heart aches for you and your family at this time. I know you were all very close. Take your time, remember it’sok to cry and we are here to listen. My thoughts and prayers are with you today and always.
Joyce-Annes last blog post..Where does the time go?
Words don’t really seem adequate at the moment. I’m so sorry doesn’t really convey what I want to say but they seem to be the nearest fitting words. My prayers and thoughts are with you.
And I LOVE the zombie chicken award. Well done Hyphen-Mama.
Barbaras last blog post..A Boy’s Best Friend
Have been thinking of you all. Sending lots of love. xxx
Marylins last blog post..The time I got some bloggy love.
hi Kim it Charlene i am so sorry to hear about you mum if there is anything we can do just let us know and if you would like i would be more than happy to take her cat and give it a home. i will look after it and you can come and visit when ever you like.
Love always Charlene and Adam
We are so sorry to here about your mum my thoughts are with you if there is anything we can do let us know.
Anne and Mark.
Kim, Veronica & family I am so very sorry to hear about your Mum. My thoughts are with you.
trishs last blog post..The Light of Hope
My thoughts and prayers are with you all. Keep the cat! poor kitty can’t go to strangers … and the Zombie chicken award is great!!!
Avrils last blog post..Wordless Wednesday :
I feel like a zombie most days.
I’m thinking of you in this tough time.
Hyphen Mamas last blog post..Letters to the Universe
My best.
Xbox4NappyRashs last blog post..Berries and buds
Love you guys.
Rees last blog post..Awards and Such
So sorry chick!
My thoughts are with you and your family – super hugs to you all
Love
Tinkingbells last blog post..Happy Again!
So sorry to hear the sad news Kim. Nan’s life may not have been as long as you all wanted but it was surely full of love and joy. Keep hold of that, it will help you adapt to the empty space she’s left behind.
Thinking of you all.
Missed this post yesterday because stupid me forgot to top up my prepaid internet hours. Usuall I write this stuff in my diary, don’t know how I forgot, but there I was, stuck with no internet yesterday.
xoxoxoxoxoxo
Will be sending loving thoughts your way next Tuesday.
Oh Kim. You give us just as much in return. hugs to you hon. You’re in my thoughts and prayers.
Mistress Bs last blog post..I don’t quite understand
Thinking of you during this time Kim… hope this time can be a special one. Love Rick, Sarah and Zac
thinking of you
Tanyas last blog post..My Top Ten
(((hugs))) thinking of you all.
Jaynes last blog post..Free heating – pull my finger !
hey kimme,
I want to let you know I,m thinking of you and your family, know that I care for your loss and will miss Lynn at our family get togethers. She was a blessing to me and my family, a caring loving lady who always leaned towards the positive side of all things. She has left a gap. Deepest sympathy and love to you at this time. Your sister in law. xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
P.S. if there s not enough kisses to go around the family, heres some more. xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Bless you sweetheart.
thinking of you Kimme..
hope Puss finds a new home soon..