I am a fly by the seat of your pants cook and ninety five percent of the time we arrive unscathed at our culinary destination.Five percent of the time I crash and burn and it is a culinary disaster.Veronica still casually mentions the time I served up raw fish to her as a child and no, I wasnt trying to make sashimi. Oooops.
My friend Sue makes really nice hommous.So I thought that I would make some, as the pre packaged stuff tastes like shit.
Unfortunately I am prone to daydreams as well, so I only heard Sue say, mix some chickpeas with some tahini, chuck in a bit of lemon juice and some garlic and away you go.
I had a can of chickpeas in the pantry, so I plonked them in a bowl and mashed them up with a fork. I stirred in a crushed garlic clove and added a squeeze of lemon juice.
It was looking all right so far.
I added a couple of tablespoons of tahini and mixed it through with a fork. It still didn’t taste like Sue’s, so I added some more tahini and some more lemon juice. This didn’t look like Sue’s lovely creamy hommous either.It was very thick and gluggy but I am an optimist so onwards and upwards.
I don’t have a food processor because it takes longer to wash them up than it does to mooosh things by hand. Mix, mix,mixity mix. By now my wrist was getting sore from all the mixing and I was rethinking my aversion to food processors.
I had added half a jar of tahini to a can of chickpeas.I was going nowhere fast and I was starting to wonder if maybe I should have googled a recipe first.
My fly by the seat of my pants hommous experiment was fast descending into farce. I had added enough tahini to make a bucket load of hommous. So I put it all into the fridge and went to bed.
Day two of the hommous extravaganza.
I cooked up a fresh batch of chickpeas to try and even up the ratio. This took nearly all afternoon because they took ages to get soft. The pulse gods were not smiling on me at all.
Heartily sick of the sight of chickpeas by now, I mooshed up the fresh batch with a fork. Encouraged by how soft they were I grabbed the stick mixer. Ha. Chickpeas are so gluggy that they gummed up the blades of the stick mixer in about 5 seconds flat. *sigh* A food proccessor was starting to look very,very tempting. I added them to yesterdays failed hoummous and starting mixing it all together. I had run out of lemons so I added a good splash of white balsamic vinegar, another clove of garlic and about half a cup of extra virgin olive oil. Flying blind indeed.
So at this stage of my hommous adventure I now had a very large mixing bowl full of a chickpea/tahini/miscellaneous mixture that didn’t remotely resemble Sue’s at all. The craving for hommous had vanished days ago. The kitchen looked like a bomb had hit it when in walked my saviour, The Spouse with a case of beer induced munchies. Yay.
Half a packet of dry bickies later, a decent dent had been made into bowl and my confidence was slightly restored. I put the hommous back into the fridge and went to bed. Again.
It is now Tuesday and I have this huge bowl of pseudo hommous sitting there in the fridge, mocking me. I think I might have to add some paprika and chilli to some of it, some parsley and cucumber to another handful of it and voila a plethora of mixed dips will grace my fridge. Now I better nip down to the pub and get The Spouse some more beer. Lots of beer.
*** Note: If you totally forget about the hommous for a couple of weeks and then discover it lurking at the back of the fridge. It will be fizzy. Very fizzy.It still smelled fine. It had just fermented and fizzed very unpleasantly on my tongue. Ooops.
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I’m on my way. I’ll be there in what? 3 days? 😉
Ah man, there’s no such thing as bad hoummus! Sounds like a good excuse for a party to me.
I’ve got some garlic chicken and pita bread in the fridge, wish I could take some off your hands! 😉
Oh no !
I might be tempted to try my own …if I had a recipe my boys like hommus as much as I do.
I have been known for some experimental disasters of my own. A black bean, paprika and spinach concoction was particularly memorable for its really disgusting smell and its horrid colour. I learned not to experiment unless I really knew the recipe. At least yours was edible! 🙂
I like to make things up. How many times do you make something and love it but can’t remember how you made it?!
Chick Peas. Can’t. Stand. Them. At All.
I’d rather eat asparagus, which I also hate. You should ask Sue for her recipe, so at least you’ll know where you went wrong.
Recipe below worked for me wonderfully once!! I can’t bear the smell of the liquid from the can so have to hold nose. Highly commendable that you do the whole soak, cook chickpea experience I am far far too lazy. I truly think the processor makes a difference although am not sure in times of old this would have been the trick…. Perhaps a pestle n mortar is that the correct culinary name for the crushy thing with the bowl would work? I must admit I have a friend who makes hoummous that is perfect humph ….. I can only admire your perseverance! The slimy gloop I made last time was fit only for a chicken frankly. By way of consellation you are not alone with this culinary concoction – over here in the UK in my kitchen similar has occured.
* 1 16 oz can of chickpeas or garbanzo beans
* 1/4 cup liquid from can of chickpeas
* 3-5 tablespoons lemon juice (depending on taste)
* 1 1/2 tablespoons tahini
* 2 cloves garlic, crushed
* 1/2 teaspoon salt
* 2 tablespoons olive oil
Preparation:
Drain chickpeas and set aside liquid from can. Combine remaining ingredients in blender or food processor. Add 1/4 cup of liquid from chickpeas. Blend for 3-5 minutes on low until thoroughly mixed and smooth.
Place in serving bowl, and create a shallow well in the center of the hummus.
Add a small amount (1-2 tablespoons) of olive oil in the well. Garnish with parsley (optional).
on a personal level I don’t like it smooth I like it with some texture, this is the point of culinary expertise that leaves me sadly lacking!
I’m also prone to cooking disasters. Just last week I made hummus out of uncooked pre-soaked chick peas (which I had used some of to make felafals). As I was leaving the house in disgust I left instructions that hubby cook up the felafels (the mixture for which had been made a few days earlier). I returned home to find he’d also cooked up the “hummus” with some grated cheese to make yummy oozy hot hummus bites! I’ve now cooked the remaining chickpeas and will probably make hummus tonight.
Hey, I have the same culinary tastes as river, I can’t stand chickpeas or asparagus either!
An alternative to a full-on food processor would be to just get a blender or a mouli. Not quite so much washing up.
I never fly by the seat of my pants. I’m not an “add a little of this and a dash of that” kind of gal. I’m like a tone deaf person attempting to compose a symphony. It gets ugly very fast if I don’t have my measuring spoons and recipe at the ready.
Wow – two days to cook a recipe – I’m impressed!
I think you’re brave to try and do it without a recipe. I often consider it and then a vision of the husband’s face after he’s eaten something particularly vile I’ve concocted for him pops into my head and I give up!
*giggles* snort!! LOL!!! Loved it!!