I can’t remember the last time I cooked two proper evening meals in a row. By proper I mean healthy and balanced.
In the last few months of Mum’s illness I was stretched really, really thinly as Mum had become less able to do all the stuff healthy people take for granted. Simple things like changing the sheets on her bed had become akin to climbing Everest.
Everything fell by the wayside, as the physical demands of caring for my Mum didn’t leave any time left over for secondary shit like my own housework or cooking. I am an indifferent housekeeper at the best of times and indifferent quickly turned to non-existent.
After Mum died everything became a major effort and for a couple of weeks I suffered a massive case of the couldn’t be bothereds.Cooking? Bleh. Housework? Who gives a fuck, shut the door. I just could not be bothered doing much of anything.
And then it started to rain and it rained and rained and rained. The dreadful grey wetness of winter nearly did my head in. Please remind me of that, when I have to buy water this summer and I am stressing out about bushfire.
Last week The Spouse was splitting wood and he developed a painful tightness in his chest. To cut a long story short, it wasn’t a heart attack as there wasn’t any of the hormone blah blah blah in his blood which indicates damage to the heart muscle,phew.
The Spouse is off to the cardiologists tomorrow for a stress test which will give us a clearer picture of what exactly is going on. His cholesterol levels were high at 7.8, which is enough to statistically give him the chances of 1 in 50 of suffering a fatal heart attack.
So now my control freak tendencies can really be let loose up on my family. The Spouse needs to lower his cholesterol and all the food choices he makes from now on will be supervised by yours truly.It is well past time that I dusted off the pots and pans and started cooking again. As soon as I hit publish I am going to make a large pot of fish soup for tea.
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That bloody father of mine, he nearly gave me a heart attack worrying about him.
And I know how you feel about the cooking. I’m only just now getting my shit back together with the planning of meals.
While I hope like crazy that there’s nothing awful wrong with Spouse, this may be a good trigger to shake you out of the doldrums. Don’t get me wrong, I do not include your grieving in this, only time will help there, but all the other shit that has heaped on you lately and is weighing you down further. A new focus can be just what we need to get moving again. Have fun with the menu planning although I wouldn’t worry too much about the housework, maybe save that for when you have nothing more creative to do with your time 😉
Hope all is ok with the stress test, the fish soup sounds yum!
Bloody hell, so not what you need right now. I really hope he’s ok.
Good luck with the cooking. Your pots and pans will benefit from a good dusting down and maybe you will as well (if you see what I mean).
Ugh!! Gah!! Blech!! Fish soup. The one thing in the world I hate more than anything. Now if it had been chicken soup I would have invited myself to dinner. Anyway, glad to hear it wasn’t a heart attack. Look after him now, get that cholesterol down, (says she of the 6.1)
Why do we, in the States, measure cholesterol in the hundreds? Is this some sort of metric thingie?
(trying to make you smile honey. XXOO)
Ree, I’ve often wondered the same thing, but it kinda makes me feel better hearing that someone’s cholesterol is 1400 (for example) while mine is only 6.
Oh sweetie.
I wish I could lift some of the stress for you.
Oh Kim…. I’ve tossed in the towel and I don’t even have a decent excuse. You do what you can. That’s the best you can do sometimes. Tonight I served my kids browned ham (organic, of course!) and apple slices. I suck.
I don’t hate cooking as much as the decisions of what to make and keeping it varied. I hope everything is ok for “the spouse”.
But you ARE a good cook. It’s quite normal you haven’t had the time or the energy for all that; But that bouillabaisse looks wonderful, I’ve been craving it for weeks now. I’ve bookmarked the page.
I hope all goes well with the stress test. I’m sure you’ll have his cholesterol back down again in no time 🙂