I need a robotic stunt double to do the morning shift for me.I am sick of saying the same things over and over to my teenage son.If I had a robotic version of myself, I could take a nice little holiday and give my vocal chords a much needed rest.
Robo-Mum could be programmed to stand at the doorway of my teenager’s bedroom repeating, “Get out of bed, get out of bed now!” every five minutes from 6.45 am to 7’15.
Then Robo-Mum would casually follow the teenager to the bathroom door and start repeating,”Move away from the mirror, get into the shower” from 7.20 to 7.30. Once the water had been running for 5 minutes, Robo-Mum would start chanting,”Get out of the shower.That’s long enough and my personal favourite, Do you think water just falls from the sky?”
Still stationed at the bathroom door Robo-Mum reverts back to the, “Move away from the mirror” cry at 5 minute intervals until her tune will change to the more frantic chorus of, “Hurry up, breakfast is ready,you are going to miss the bus.”
Robo-Mum will be skilled at juggling all the normal morning demands and wont even bat a robotic eye,when informed that the teenager needs some obscure item from deep within a Brazilian rainforest cave for a science project right this minute. Robo-Mum will just magically pull the obscure item out of her arse along with unlimited amounts of ready cash.
I doubt that David would even notice that I had employed a robot to do the repetitive hurry ups, the clean your teeths and the you are going to miss the bus, phrases that I say eleventy billion times every single fucking morning. Aaaaaaaaaaaaarggggh!! He might be a tad surprised at the money out of the robots arse trick though, because I am sure he thinks it grows on trees.
Comments on this entry are closed.
Snap! I do the same thing. Last night I was informed that a wetsuit was needed for an excursion this morning….!!!! I rang around to try to find one, then told him he’d have to be cold today.
Oh dear… this is all too familiar. I need a robo-mum NOW!
xoxo
Fill his hand with shaving cream and then tickle his nose with a feather. He’ll get up.
When it’s time for him to get out of the shower, flush the loo.
When he wants something for his science project, ask him how he’s going to pay for it.
He’ll begin to get the message.
I need two Robomums please. Do you accept Amex?! Hehehe…
If anybody did invent a Robo-Mum it would be a bigger seller than coca cola and chocolate combined.
Good luck with the hunt because the need for a Robo-Mum doesn’t stop until they leave home! In fact, to be honest, when the younger of my sons comes ‘home’ to help his Dad with anything Robo- Mum has to snap back into action. And added to the litany is ‘and don’t you dare use up all of my internet quota for the month!’
lmao! love it.
Can I have one too?
We have an intercom for the 13yo’s bedroom as it’s outside the main house. It makes a dreadful loud alarm sound and this is what we use (sometimes repeatedly) to get him out of bed. Also, we’re pretty strict with the shower timer! God though, I don’t know if I can keep up the required level of nagging for the number of teenage years I have left in my house – we will have a teenager in the house until June, 2028. Kill me now.
I have a pre-teen, so its the same stuff every morning too, just a bit of a different script. Oh the joys of motherhood!
Cool! Can’t wait when this happens. It is possible. Never thought of owning a cellphone before, but now it has become a necessity!
You should just leave him to his own devices one morning
Oh the joys.. Just what I have to look forward to! I can hardly wait..