And met a plethora of amazing bloggers.
I have spent the morning reading blog posts about the conference, looking at photos, reading the tweets and sitting here trying to work out how to write a post that actually captures the sense of community that was so strong through out the conference.
The dynamics of my twitter stream and google reader are changed forever now.
I am able to put real faces and real voices to my online friends avatars and I am very very happy that I was a part of this wonderful event.
But the main thought in my head at the moment is how do I write about all the amazing people I met without overdosing on adjectives?
How do I write coherently about the cold, cold anger that I am feeling at the way that my daughter was unceremoniously dumped from the the final keynote speakers selection with less than five minutes notice due to so called time constraints, without admitting that even a public apology will not calm this Mother’s rage.
So I wont, I will write instead about the phone call I received at 1.45 am this morning that has left me gritty eyed from lack of sleep.
The words
Hi Mum, I am at the hospital can you ring me back, click .
Turned my soul to ice and my fingers to jelly
It seemed to take an eternity as I searched for my mobile phone so that I could find Davids number in my contacts. The fucking phone was flat and the charger was in my suitcase so it was a few minutes before I could call my boy back to see what was wrong.
The words
It’s okay Mum, it’s not me, I am fine, allowed me to breathe again.
My teenage son had been staying in town with his friends while I was in Sydney and one of the girls had wandered off and had slashed her arms so deeply with a razor blade that she needed an ambulance.
David told me quietly that he had carried his friend up the hill from the oval and waited with her for the ambulance. He told me that he was in the hospital without any money, totally stressed, covered in her blood and desperate for a cigarette.
As we talked I could feel my son calming down and together we worked out a plan to get him back to his friends house.
My son is so like me, he is a people person
But my son gathers the broken to him and I worry about my boy.
This is the third time in less than 2 months that one of Davids friends has attempted suicide.
And I wish I could protect him, I wish I could protect both of my children. I wish I could magically make their hurts vanish as easily as I did when they were small when something as simple as a wiggles bandaid was all it took to make them better.
I look at both my children and I am incredibly proud of the pair of them.
I watched Veronica act with class and grace and style on the weekend.
I listened to my son this morning tell me that he thinks he needs to go and do a first aid course.
And I look at my husband as he grumbles about the mess I have already made in the short time I have been home and I know that I am pleased I went away but I am even more pleased to be home.
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Kim, it was such a great pleasure to meet you at the conference and experience your warm energy first hand. My only regret about the conference was that I was upstairs with the grown-ups discussing search engine optimisation during your My Blog, My Story segment. Is there any chance you could post your story?
And Veronica… Oh, how I loved her and her hens night tiara.
(Glad to hear that David and his friend were alright).
Oh, Kim! What a wonderful son you have to be there to care for his friends, but how terrible that he needs to do that! What is going so wrong that this is happening with such frequency?
And yes, you have done a wonderful job with both of your children (and I am so glad you have been able to mess up the house already! 🙂 )
It makes my heart hurt to hear about. Lifeline runs suicide prevention courses which may be of benefit to your wonderful boy.
What a rollercoaster of emotions you have endured this weekend! While I dont know your son, and only had the brief pleasure of meeting your talented and beautiful daughter Veronica, I can still see you have raised wonderful, warm and intelligent children. What a credit to you!
I must say it was such a pleasure to meet you at the conference and sit with you at dinner.
I think the reason you have such awesome kids might be both genetics and the way they were raised 🙂
V not speaking sounds very odd to me. I wonder what was going on there? Poor David, that must have been so traumatic for him. Your kids take after you.
It was wonderful to meet you at the conference and I too went to the SEO session and missed out on what I understand to be the highlight of the conference. Sorry about David. That is a very traumatic thing to go through x
Heh, they were afraid of what Veronica would say…
AND WHAT GIVES with all these young people doing this suicide thing?? It isn’t just there, you know. But here, the teens I know who have seriously considered it also know that their religion dictates that they would go to Hell if they did and that prevents ’em. Which is good. But it doesn’t provide a raison d’etre precisely so they strike me (even if they are Christians) as a bit nihilistic sometimes. I have no clue how to help sometimes, but as I said, the suicidal teens I come across are more the spoken angst kind.
How is David holding up?
Oh Kim! Poor David to be dealing with another self harming teen again. Why do today’s youth find life so hard that so many do this to themselves. Thank goodness david is such a good person in a crisis – and yes, maybe he should take that first aid course!
I’m glad the conference went well (apart from Veronica’s reading. Seems very strange that as one of the organising strengths behind the conference she was cut short. Ho hum!) and you had such a great time. It must be wonderful to put all those faces and voices together with their written words.
PS Loved V’s hen outfit, well done you for surprising her 😉
Mate, All I can say is be thankful that you have raised two such articulate and caring young people into a world that needs them.
David is a highly tuned in young man, he is caring yet sensible, I dont think you have a lot to worry about with him, we learn from others mistakes.
Glad you enjoyed the conference xx
Oh no, poor David and poor you – what an awful call to have to take. I’m glad his friend is ok and am so amazed at David’s calm manner of dealing with these things. I am nearly 40 and I don’t think I’d deal with it anywhere near as well.
Your children, although I’ve never met them, constantly amaze me. They are wonderful. xxx
Your kids have a fab mother who has shown them how to be a caring, giving person.
Sad to hear David is having such weight thrown on his shoulders at his age, perhaps a counselling course as well as first aid might help him?
(((hugs)))
Aww Kim, My eldest is a bit like David. As was I. I always said to her, “look afterself first, so you can cope with other people’s stuff.” How lovely that he is so compassionate and caring, but yes, might need some boundary setting so he doesn’t get dragged down. That is serious stuff.
Poor David! What a sad and scary experience. Maybe the full moon tipped her over the edge but I hope David can cope with all the care he gives. Such a wonderful young man.
Sounds like the conference was a real buzz.
You seem to have brought up some very sensible, capable and wise children. I am amazed at the maturity of Veronica’s writing, I was imagining her to be much older.
I hope David’s friend is OK? It worries me that so many young people don’t see the point in living, how sad their lives must be.
On a final note, I loved your comment at the ABC that calling yourself an artist has made it OK to be eccentric. I think I will go back and put that word back in my About Me blurb.
Sounds like you had a great time at the conference. A shame things didn’t go as planned at the keynote speakers selection, but that’s just wonderful to hear of everyone meeting each other in person; I’d love to meet everyone here if that day came.
Thank you for your heart-warming post. I think too often, in this day and age, so many just don’t feel much hope for the future. Working at college as SR this year, I can say that we’ve had a few similar mid-night “experiences” in this respect from (in particular) first-years. It’s been good (both for us and them) to see our numbers slightly down thus far…
I wondeed why Veronica didn’t speak, and also wondered why nothing was said as to why… I was looking forward to hearing her.
I too now have people’s voices in my head when I read blogs and twitter, and as I said to you I loved how you described our beautiful Tassie. So, so true.
you have truly raised wonderful children. Veronica is wise and intelligent beyond her years. Your David sounds like a wonderful soul, and I hope he has light to hold onto as his friends crumble. Suicide is such a horrid thing, for all involved.
See you in Tassie soon I hope.
Wow, I had no idea all this was going on when your lovely face was lighting up the conference. You clearly have two intelligent, caring, loving, articulate kids who know what is right and what is wrong. If I can be a fraction of the Mum you are, I will be very happy.
Sorry not to hear V speak, I was really pissed off I didn’t get to hear my blog my story sessions. I had misunderstood and thought I could do the SEO one upstairs and the my blog my story session as well. Everyone who attended said it was a highlight. I wish I could have heard V. speak, but I did meet her (and her pink tuille) and she was lovely!
You hit the ground running. What a terrible fright.
I, like some other, missed hearing you speak becaues of jolly SEO. HA! But I loved meeting you. Just kinda wish you were wearing your crocs 😉
Hugs Kim. Very grounding. I loved meeting you.
I thought they were trying to cram a lot into that session and I thought “so we run overtime”. How many conferences have I been to where a session has run late? I’m sorry Veronica’s presentation didn’t go ahead. I’ve had like to hear that post read out loud.
David sounds like a wonderfully caring soul. He’ll be fine. He knows when to ask for help, as proved by his call to you. X
Last night my computer froze on me so I couldn’t leave a comment.
I just want to say that I don’t know David at all, but I’m so very proud of him. You’ve raised a boy who is compassionate and caring, every bit as much as Veronica is. Both are children to be proud of.
Oh my. A first aid course sounds like a necessity.
Wow.. what a story. And what trouble david seems to be in.
If it helps you at all, I have a strong friend that growing up had three of his close friends attempt suicide. in a small country town, with not much support other than family, he now has a family of his own and couldn’t be happier.
his life is good, he is the nicest person and got his head screwed on. so even with growing up with sadness, he always has a smile, even until now. But I am certain david will be the same with support of family as my buddy has.
– tork
Didn’t make it to AU for the conference … being across the world and all, but it still pisses me upside the wind that they cut V off like that.
The bums.
RE: David and all that ..
Having walked that fine line, and dealing with loosing my little brother to suicide, and having a daughter meet it head on ..
The best David can do is understand that in the face of this issue there are no answers or solid solutions. Understanding the psychology behind the act is key. A suicidal individual is incapable of understanding the FULL impact of their actions. It’s a selfish act driven by the intense need to escape.
There are those who do it for attention .. and shame on them!
But those who are truly committed to that horrible act; It’s far more personal than an accidental / natural death. There is no “getting over it”, but there is a “getting through it”, which is why relatives of such individuals are called suicide SURVIVORS. While they died only once, those left behind die a thousand times every day for years after.
David needs to understand these individuals need professional help. Either they will agree to it or not. You can’t MAKE someone seek help, all you can do is support the idea. He can’t, and should NOT own the decisions these people make. He needs to understand that in the end they will have to make a choice, and nothing he can do or say will change their minds when the moment is upon them.
Let them know you support them, but that you will not support owning the grief and guilt they will chain you with for the rest of YOUR life should they go through with it.
Sometimes you have to say goodbye before they do …. because someone committed to ending their life will inevitably amputate part of yours. Take care of yourself first. Protect yourself. Only then can you continue to help others.
I know. I’ve been there. Give the kid a hug, tell him you love him, and pray his good sense will protect him. — my heart goes out to him.
Sorry for the rant.