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Winter.

It is winter and my hands are cold.

I am sad and tired.

I miss my Mother more than I could ever have imagined and I am fighting off a bout of self pity.

I don’t ask the question

Who is going to comfort me

Because I know the answer.

I am tired

Tired of the cold.

Tired of never being asked how I am

Tired of people.

Tired of shallowness.

I am tired of being nice and tired of being polite

I think I should just go out and get smashed and run amok

And I would,

Except I don’t want the hangover and the sore head and the blackness of spirit that comes from all that negative energy.

But

At the end of the day I am truly an optimist,

And even in my bleakest moments I can go outside and see something that lifts my spirit.

A tiny abandoned nest in the raspberry canes made me smile.

The thought that small birds had been nesting so close to the house makes me inordinately happy.

Some days it is the smallest things that keep me going.

 

Comments on this entry are closed.

  • tiff June 29, 2011, 11:54 am

    Sending all the love I can muster for you my friend.
    I hope you *are* okay and not just putting on that happy mask.
    I really do hope you make it to Sydney in September.
    The flowers and the wild life up here are gorgeous at that time of year and work their magic on even my black moods.

    • frogpondsrock June 29, 2011, 12:27 pm

      I really am okay Tiff. I am just having a crappy morning. Well I was until these lovely comments started to arrive in my email account. Thanks for being so lovely 🙂

  • Elephant's Child June 29, 2011, 12:02 pm

    It is almost always the little things that lift my spirits. I put it down to small things for a small mind. But seriously, I think that the things that we categorise as ‘little’ are frequently magical and that they are at least as important as the so called big issues (over which we usually have no control). The joy of nesting birds beside the house, the glory of a sunset or a dawn, new growth coming through in the garden, the warble of magpies, the purr of the cat beside me, reflections, pools of water, running water ….. And the list goes on.

    I hope your spirits soar again soon. Your work is a never-ending joy to so many of us.

    • frogpondsrock June 29, 2011, 12:31 pm

      Thankyou so much . 🙂 I was trying to film the birds yesterday for the short film I am making and instead of landing where I wanted them to, they kept on landing on my knee. bloody things. hehe. Every time I tried to move the camera they flew away. I ended up with the giggles.

  • Karen (miscmum) June 29, 2011, 12:12 pm

    {hugs} xxx

    I get it. Totally.

  • roseg June 29, 2011, 12:13 pm

    me three x

  • Amanda June 29, 2011, 12:17 pm

    Hugs hon. I get it .

    • frogpondsrock June 29, 2011, 12:33 pm

      we just keep swimming, just keep swimming 🙂 and hugs back to you. I am off up to the studio now to make some spikes for a mutant shell I am working on for an exhibition later on in the year.

  • pixie June 29, 2011, 1:02 pm

    gentle hugs…..I know how tough it can be.

    I love the little birdie’s nest………….

    now whats this about Sept and why wasnt I told?????

    • frogpondsrock June 29, 2011, 8:10 pm

      Thanks Pixie, and I will let you know about September once I have booked my flights 🙂

  • river June 29, 2011, 1:23 pm

    It’s often the littlest things that are the biggest treasures.
    Give yourself a hug or two from me, I know about feeling so tired.
    Many days now, I get home from work, read a blog or two, then crawl into bed. sleep is wonderful!
    Got something exciting to look forward to in Sydney in September??
    Yay!

    • frogpondsrock June 29, 2011, 8:12 pm

      I just decided on a whim to fly up and see Watershedd, then we decided to drive up and see Tiff. It just sort of evolved via twitter 🙂

  • Veronica June 29, 2011, 4:25 pm

    And then we came and bothered you and Isaac stole your eggs. ‘Twill be okay. Just a hard week.

    • frogpondsrock June 29, 2011, 8:15 pm

      A visit from you is never a bother, you dag. I gave Isaac the eggs and I can easily make some more. Actually I might have to make some giant Easter eggs for the garden now that Isaac has given me the idea 🙂

  • sharon June 29, 2011, 6:42 pm

    The little things are the best things 😉 If nothing else, they are so much easier to find even on the crappiest days!

    xox

    • frogpondsrock June 29, 2011, 8:15 pm

      They certainly are Sharon, they certainly are.

  • BendyGirl June 29, 2011, 7:33 pm

    Huge hugs and love. It’s always the small things that bring me back. Thinking of you BG Xx

    • frogpondsrock June 29, 2011, 8:16 pm

      And all my love back to you gorgeous girl. xx

  • sleepydwarf June 29, 2011, 8:37 pm

    I’m sorry you’re feeling like this Kim 🙁 Hugs. The nest is beautiful.

    • frogpondsrock June 29, 2011, 9:37 pm

      The mood was fleeting Barb, I am better now.

  • Marylin June 30, 2011, 4:29 am

    *hugs* and love, sweetheart. Your photos are beautiful. xxx

  • Barbara July 2, 2011, 4:54 am

    I’m sorry. Futile as it is, I wish the people dearest in my heart never had to be unhappy. Now, where did I leave my magic wand? xxx

  • Ali July 2, 2011, 1:47 pm

    Winter makes me so despondent. I’m holding my breath until it’s over. I’m sorry that you’re having a rough time. Everyone who comes here has felt your warmth and your generous spirit. I’m sure we’d all be more than happy to wrap you in some warmth and love to chase away the winter any time you need it – albeit from a distance. Let’s hope the sun shines soon down in Tas and brings you lots of cheering things, just outside your door.

  • Jess July 4, 2011, 8:11 am

    {{HUG}}
    I keep forgetting you’re in winter. For some reason I always imagine you closer.
    I am sorry your down … and how ARE you doing now? As far as being nice all the time, it’s OK to avoid the crush and just grump off into the wilderness from time to time, just don’t lose your way back. .. I’ve been gone there myself the last little bit, so I hear you. “Missing” just never seems to sum it all up, does it.
    Chin up, and keep an eye out for the quiet little pleasures. They make all the difference.

  • Jane Thiele July 13, 2011, 8:49 am

    Hi Kim .. winter ! i am so sick of the mud and of slipping over or being scared to slip over !this weather is relentless!
    But like you the birds doing their thing certainly lifts the spirit..I lost my friend and it has been so hard to get through the loss some days .. must go to the studio but the cold..dreaming of warm weather northern climes and swimming in warm oceans..
    keep the fires burning and keep warm..xox jane.

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