Your world can be turned inside out in an instant.
The words, “Mum I am pregnant” are not words you want to hear from your seventeen year old daughter on Christmas day and I well remember feeling an unhappy mixture of grief, fear and anger. Grief for my daughters loss of innocence, loss of freedoms and loss of all the possible futures that a Mother dreams for her daughter. Fear at what toll a pregnancy would take on her already fragile body and anger that she could be so stupid as to bloody well fall pregnant at her age.
Of course Veronica didn’t fall pregnant accidentally, it was a well planned pregnancy and with the benefit of 20/20 hindsight I have accepted that my teenage daughter knew exactly how her life was gong to proceed and everything has turned out for the best.
Fast forward seven years and Veronica is now 25 weeks pregnant with her third child, a girl baby.
A baby girl that I didn’t realise I was so invested in until I receive a phone call last night in the middle of dinner.
Mum can you take me to the hospital, I haven’t felt the baby move since 4 am.
I am tearing the house apart searching for my bra, trying not to cry, trying to fasten the stupid bra whilst looking for my handbag. One half of my mind is going through my personal checklist of the accoutrements of appearing in civilisation, bra-teeth-shoes and the other half is going, please don’t let the baby be dead please don’t let the baby be dead please don’t let the baby be dead.
I was completely fine until I had to tell “The Spouse” where I was going.
Telling “The Spouse” anything always brings me totally undone, because as long as the words stay inside my head they can not possibly come true. Saying the words aloud gives them power, so I whispered where I was going, burst into tears and tripped over the fucking dog on my way out the door.*
Veronica lives a good sixty minutes drive, away from the hospital and we drove for fifty five minutes, not saying much to each other but both aware of each others fears, until the baby gave a little kick, five minutes away from the hospital.
Bloody children.
So today I am a little bit drained and I am contemplating eating more chocolate than is healthy but you know sometimes chocolate is a necessity.
*the dog wasn’t harmed, though he did look slightly annoyed to be trodden on and yelled at the same time.
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:: tears up and passes over the bag of M&Ms ::
kids hey? They rip our emotions inside out and have no idea what they are doing.
So glad the baby is alive and kicking.
Thanks for the M& Ms lovely 🙂 and yes even before they are born they manage to frighten the shit out of us.
Great post – and glad everything is okay with the baby! What a cheeky little munchkin, waiting all that time to make her presence felt 🙂
I Know, fancy scaring her Nanny like that. I will have stern words with her about it when she is 22 or 23 🙂
Baby girl is going to grow up to be a thrill-seeker – she just wanted to feed off Mama’s adrenaline for a while!
No, but seriously, though, I am so glad everything turned out to be okay, and if I could teleport you one of my fabulous chocolate cakes, I would. xx
lol Thanks Erica I have dark chocolate Tim Tams here, Old Jamaica chocolate and Natural Confectionary red snakes. So enough sweeties to last me a week. And Yes I thought that about the baby as well. xx
I have had health scares with two of my kids. One of which isn’t over yet. My heart stopped at your words. So glad all’s OK and I hope there are no more *moments* like this.
So do I, Mrs Catch. So do I.
By the way, that’s an impressive stash of choc. Tim Tams are always a necessity.
That reminds me, I might just need another one…
My heart almost skipped a beat – so glad that Bubba gave a kick in the end x Those moments in between would have been awful though.
Oh Trish, they were, They so were. I actually was thinking about Charlotte in amongst all the other jumble in my mind.
Awful, awful, awful. I was worried for and with you. So glad that she decided to kick. And yes, chocolate has saved the life and or sanity of many women. Possibly every woman.
Hugs to you all.
Thank you and chocolate is on the necessity list here 🙂
My heart was totally stopped while reading this. Until that kick 5 mins from hospital, then it regained thumping.
Should have known – only a daughter would do this to a mother. Veronica sure has a good ‘girl’ on the way!!
I wonder if this girl child will be a climber and a leaper, just like her mother was. The amount of times I turned around to have Veronica sing out Catch me Mummy as she leaped off something, confident in my abilities to catch her. I never missed, but Oh dear we came close a few times 🙂
glad everything ok;)
Thanks Anne 🙂
glad everythings ok
Glad all is more than ok ,esp ongoing choc supply !Bloody dog ! I have a gorgeous Jack Russell that is ALWAYS 30cm in front of whichever foot I am pointing whatever way !!! Forever being tripped over and sworn at …do love him though!!
lol Harry is a Red Heeler and he was asleep on the mat next to the door, I just didn’t see him. poor dog. He is asleep at the moment with his head on my foot
Oh my…I had a few spare seconds at work and thought I have a quick check of my fav blogs…I should not do that at work, as I had tears pricking at the start, then laughed out loud at you using the “F” word, then tears again that everything is all OK….
It was quite the rollercoaster for me as well. I hope that you are okay now?
After the scare you’ve had, that chocie is only enough for one day, I would’ve thought!!!
Sometimes sticky-beaking at your blog is not good for my heart!!! – just as well I have my usual supply of goodies. xx
Sorry Helena, but oh my word the little bugger gave us a fright. xx I have dark chocolate Tim Tams, what do you have?
Bloody children indeed. I think this one is going to be a great practical joker…..
Oh gawd Amanda, I hope not. I don’t manage practical jokers very well. xx
Phew.
*hugs all around*
phew indeed! and all hugs gratefully received Fiona 🙂
Oh my… what a relief! I’m so glad things were okay! x
it was quite amazing how one little kick could lift my whole mood. 🙂
tis always the same isn’t it with kids and hosp. take them deathly ill and as you pull into car park they start playing and singing. Thank the gods
I am smiling here now remembering similar instances with my son when he was small. Yes, the Kids often made a liar out of me in front of doctors. lol
What an awful thing for you both to go through, I have been in a couple of car rides with my husband where we have both silently wished life for someone – I’m so glad there was a happy ending.
Thankyou Carli. Thank you
Oh, F#$*! You can just do without that. A friend once described being a parent to me as watching your heart walk around all by itself, outside your chest and having absolutely no control over it. And yes, medicinal chocolate is sometimes very necessary. Plenty in stock here. Feel free to pinch some. X
Exactly my sentiments Anne, What was this child thinking to scare her Grandmother so badly. Bloody children, And I like your friends description very much xx
My heart stopped!! I’m so glad all is well!! That little girl just had a super-long nap; let’s just hope this shows she will sleep 8 hours at a stretch after delivery. She can be one of those ‘good babies’ you hear all about but that don’t really exist. 🙂
I am sorry I frightened you C, a mythical “good” baby would be lovely for Veronica.
Heart attack…. And then relief. Bloody kids indeed. You are a great mum x
Somedays I think I should have been a childless spinster who lives in cave halfway up a mountain. But no I will have to be a grandmother who lives in a homemade cottage halfway up a mountain instead. I have fully recovered from my fright today. I was very ratty yesterday. x
WHAT a story! So glad everything is good. I could feel the panic, and almost started rambling about the vomitting from being ill and all. What a scare.
I recognise that feeling of loosing it, when words are spoken – that it becomes more real. I find it gives me strength though, that once the crying is done, I can act more rationally…
Gosh, I need chocolate too now.
Yes Signe, I am pleased you can relate to how I feel, And I am sorry I frightened you. xx
I love you … you are such a real person. I lived that experience with you, holding my breath, heart pounding all the way to “the baby gave a little kick” … OMG. Thank God for the happy ending or we all would have been laid out. You’re a great Mom, even if the dog has doubts …
Andrea @ From The Sol